I could tell something was wrong the minute we pulled into the driveway on our return from China. Peony ran out to meet us still in her pj's, her eyes red and puffy.
I held out my arms, and she ran into them.
"Sweet Pea, honey, what's wrong?"
"It's... it's Papa," she sobbed. H..h..he was leading a sting at the warehouse... a..and it t..turned out to be a trap.. Oh, Dilly... he's dead. They killed him!"
I couldn't believe what I had just heard.
"But..that's not possible...he was going to wait until we got back... Denis was still gathering intel...he was going to let papa know the best time..."
"He...he decided not to wait. He s..said his other informants had good enough information, t..that the time to strike was now.. oh Dilly... why didn't he wait???"
I could hear Denis muttering beside me, tallying up the reasons on his fingers why Papa should have waited, but my attention was focused on my baby sister.
I gathered my baby sister into my arms, as I heard Cy burst into tears behind me. I was vaguely aware of my sweet husband staring off into space beside me. I hoped he didn't blame himself, this was not his fault , by any stretch of the imagination. Oh, papa. We will all miss you so.
"Mom?" I whispered softly. Peony had imparted to me how mom had withdrawn since papa's death, but I didn't realize how bad it was until I saw for myself. She lay in an almost catatonic state on the bed they had shared for so many years.
"Dilly? Is that you? Help me out to my garden, would you please?"
I let her lean on my arm as we walked slowing out to the meditation garden that Papa had build for her.
"That's good, Dilly. Thank you. Just leave me for a little while, okay?"
"That's good, Dilly. Thank you. Just leave me for a little while, okay?"
She settled into her meditative posture, and I slowly tip-toed back to the house.
That was the last time I saw my mom. She went to join Papa that afternoon. I think she was only waiting to say goodbye to us. She held on until we returned, but she couldn't bear to be without Papa another day.
We all mourned in our own way.
I threw myself into my work again, spending every spare moment either at the stadium, or keeping in touch via email. My dedication paid off, and I was voted MVP - which entailed even more endorsements and appearances. Anything to keep my mind off my grief.
Even so, I often found myself bursting into tears at the most unexpected moments - even in the middle of one of my workouts.
Peony, on the other hand, found other ways of dealing with her grief. She fell in with a bad crowd, and more than once found herself being escorted home in a squad car, after she and her new friends had egged yet another neighbor's front door.
I tried to be a substitute mother to her, but it was no good.
"Sis, I hate to do this, but you are grounded. How would you feel if someone egged our front door? This has got to stop!"
"You aren't my mom! You can't tell me what to do!"
Our confrontations always ended badly. I was at my wit's end, wondering how I was supposed to deal with such rebellion.
But then she would burst into tears, and run off to her room, and I would be left standing there, wondering what I could possibly do to make everything all right again.
Cypress was a different problem altogether. He hid himself in the basement bedroom that at one time had belonged to my Uncle Mel, and lost himself in the stacks of books he had brought back from China. Even his girlfriend Shante was hard pressed to extract him from his obsession. I could sympathize, knowing the portent of the research he was involved in, but Shante was sure he was ignoring her on purpose.
"Cy, are you going to spend all weekend doing your stupid research again?" I would here the arguments all the way upstairs.
"Just a minute Shan, let my check out this one link, then we can do something you want."
More likely than not, the 'one more link' would stretch out into hours, leaving poor Shante upset and feeling ignored.
Eventually, though, he would always return to Shante, and she would always forgive him.
And Peony gradually began spending less time with the old friends she had been running with, and more time with her new friend Kelly.
More and more lately, I found myself chasing them out of the hot tub at all hours - but better that than her old activities - at least she wasn't getting a police escort home any more.
I for one, was glad to celebrate her eighteenth birthday - it was such a load off my mind, knowing I wasn't responsible for her any longer. We were all there to celebrate - Shante, and even Lotus showed up. And newly minted teenager Juniper was on hand to mock the whole proceedings.
Happy birthday, baby sister!
Then it was Cypress' turn to blow out his candles. I could hardly believe it - my baby boy, all grown up.
As soon as I could after the festivities died down, I called him out to Sunflower's Pond.
"You know what I want to talk to you about, don't you? You're the obvious choice, you have to have figured that out by now."
I flashed my eldest son a huge grin. He just gaped at me, not saying a word.
"You know as well as I do, that the obvious choice is not always the one chosen. Just look at Grandpa Brook, or... or.. even you! I've done my research, mom."
I smiled a small half-smile at that. A smart one, my boy. Only he isn't a boy any longer. And he has no idea the extent of the burden I am about to place on him.
"Obvious or not, it's time for me to pass my pendant on. It wants you, Cy, I can feel it. You just have to promise me one thing. I never did discover the mystery of the the three golden figures. Promise me you'll figure it out. I know it's important."
"I promise, mom. They've been calling to me ever since we returned from China. I feel the solution at the edge of my mind, but I haven't been able to solidify anything yet. But I will - I promise."
That was good enough for me. I know I'm leaving my legacy in good hands.